Saturday, March 26, 2011

Religion < Love

So,
hi all.
How are you all doing? Im rather fine. ish.
I've been enjoying my weekend thus far, but i am being tested to my limits.
I am on the edge of killing my moms lovely parrot.

Anyway, this is not why i decided to blog today.
I was on youtube, cause i have no life. nor any friends.
And i was watching some stand-up comedy, yes.. all of this is true.
And i came across some clips of Shappi Khorsandi, the lovely Iranian comedian.

Check her out.

But anyway, so we all know how youtube works right?
You watch one video, this leads to another.. and well eventually you move from stand-up comedy to execution?

[insert ; i am on the edge of stabbing this fucking bird to bits]

Oh, anyway, execution.
I cam across this video.
Now, i will admit the editing sucks balls, and the music might be why i was driven to the state of anger i am in. But i doubt it. Its the idea of the idiocy of these people. Nations of stupidity allowed to be on our planet?
How can we let this still be a thing?

So, and as much as i wanted to stay away from writing a blog entry about homosexuality, or as we within society fondly recognize these beings ; faggots or dykes.
Funny. till its you.

Anyway, this brings me to the story of Mohammad Asgari and Ayaz Marhoni



Nice, their crimes might have been odd, or wrong. But the idea behind them being in this state remains the horrible disease they carry, being gay.
its terrible actually.[sarcasm font]

Funny thing is, they never actually even admitted to being gay.
And they were charged with the rape of a 13 year old boy, but Iran being the lovely pro-homo country it is, the whole idea probably just seemed more fun and well, easier to charge?

Regardless, to get to my point, the whole idea behind crimes of homosexuality is usually religion.
The Bible says this, that holy book says that..
But do you think the bible or your holy book likes this?
Do you think this is what Jesus or God Or Allah or whomever you believe in, wanted?



Cause if that's what they wanted, they've lost a supporter.

Now lovers,
imagine this.

You and your bf/gf are walking in the street, he's hold your hand, you are so happy and he feeds you fucking ice-cream, its sweet and old people look at you and fondly stare at their old husbands/wives and think "that was us at some point"
the ice-cream covers your smug smile and drips down you tight top and now your boobs are full of vanilla ice-cream. You laugh and he cleans your shirt for you.
sounds pretty cool right? pretty legit? pretty chill?

Now imagine that, and then you get killed :D
FUN RIGHT?



Here is they Key :

Homosexuality Legal
Dark Blue : Same Sex Marriage or as we like to call it, marriage.
Blue : a form of partnership, kinda like a strip-tease but a bit better.
Light Blue : foreign same-sex marriage recognized. We dont like it, but meh?
Gray : We wont kill you, but we dont think your marriage is valid.

Homosexuality is illegal
Yellow : Minimal Penalty
Orange : Large Penalty
Red : Life in Prison [uhm.. did they think this through?]
Maroon : Death Penalty

Jealous much?
Love is obviously a very dangerous thing, when there are too many tits or too many willies involved..
Like an explosion. But not.

Oh yeah, and the dark gray areas are like.. unknown. Take a change?
its like a lucky-pack for gay travelers. :D

Oh lets visit a gray area. we either die, or fuck around. Cause its either illegal or our marriage becomes void. FUN FUN FUN.

Want to do some more reading? HERE IS FUN READING STUFFZ

Now, before anyone attacks me or whatever, im not saying Jesus is bad, nor am i saying Allah is bad, or whomever you believe in.
Im saying YOU FUCKED IT UP. YOU ARE BAD. its not their fault that we are a bunch of fucking retarded space-monkey's.
Stop please dont send a message telling me im being mean and blasphemous, cause im not being rude towards a divine being. Im hating on religion, which btw, you can study and help create. Its a human thing. :D

Anway,
i feel a bit better now.
But im still kinda upset and shit.

Smile lovers,
One day all will be okay.
Love and Such.

ps. watch this, its amusing

pss.

Here are some more fun pictures.

This is Irans President.. and a friend. ;p.


Some cool art-and-crafts signs :D


This is how one should raise children..


And this one is one that makes many people in robes mad.



Anyway, im going to go drink wine now and talk about unicorns.
Oh, and
psss. If you try and cover the last pictures quote with "times change, not everything is relevant anymore"
Then you are basically saying The Bible is a computer that is updated as we need it to be, but can only be updated by me. Cause im the only one that is important.

And that, we all know. is not the case.

Love and such flower-children of the world.

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Be Kinder. You are fucking up my world.


So,
'ello lovers.

How are we all doing on this dandy Tuesday morn' ?
Well, i think its Tuesday.. seeing as Rebecca Black never told us what comes after Sunday, we've been having to guess you see. its terribly inconvenient. horribly.

Anyway,
I gather myself here today to speak to you all about something rather violent.
Hate Mail.
Now, we all love hearing about it, perhaps even sending it [you little swines you!]
However, imagine receiving it, oh, i know, dont worry, so you get some angry replies to some of your hilarious tweets.. that doesnt make it hate mail love.
Imagine spending weeks, months and years working on a project, a song or a painting, a dress or a fucking baby, and people feel the need to bash your brains out about it?
Im sorry lovers, but i'd like to see most of us even attempt drawing a circle with eyes using a red crayon.

Why we feel the need to tell artists they suck 'hairy beanbags' i will never be able to comprehend?

I want you all to know, btw, that your mom and dad did a fucking terrible job of creating you, i could do a better job, they suck, your mom sucks hairy beanbags and your dad touches baby boys..

did that feel good? no, did not think so love.
Now, imagine thats what you get constantly? Well not constantly, but enough?

Im pretty sure its illegal, since its like bullying someone.
And when they snap baby, they snap.
Imagine an angry Emilie Autumn un-leashed into society? Oh love, youd better hide.

But what got me this upset about the whole hate mail thing, the Dresden Dolls.
Its terrible that people actually created an online community to BASH THEM?
Am i missing something here? They allow the mentally retarded online these days?
and by mentally retarded i mean those fucking boobs who actually take time out of their obviously busy [fixing everyone's work] lives, to create and comment on a bloody community invented to hurt someone?
Im ashamed to share the same coding as some of you. the basic coding that is.
the shit that gave me a nose and all that.

anyway, if you want to send hate-mail, imagine finding your mom crying on the floor in the kitchen, surrounded by pieces of paper calling her a beanbag sucking lesbian hooker with no tits and brains the size of your dads private area..
rather rude dont you think?

So, like for real guys, dont send hate-mail.
If you are concerned with something, stop listening or write a peaceful letter asking for an answer? insane ne? imagine peacefully asking for an answer?

Check out the whole community of bashers here - I R INTELEGENNNTE.


anyway, i love you all.
more than yoko ono ever could.
Smile fookers, life is short.

ps. the image is an example of a picture sent to the dresden dolls. <3
specifically Amanda Palmer.

pss. if you really need to be rude to someone, send me anger. I can take it.

Monday, March 21, 2011

I might have pushed it..

So,
uhm.. i might have gone a bit crazy in my previous post.
So, yeah.

Here Goes Nothing, lovers. ANC.

"Johannesburg - Western Cape acting premier Patricia de Lille was booed and shown "hand signals" while making a Human Rights Day speech at Athlone Stadium in Cape Town on Monday morning." - news 24

So,
how are you all?

Anyway, ill try and keep this short and sweet.
Im rather annoyed and fucking pissed atm.
The whole Human Rights day thing is a bloody good waste of time.

Half of our retarded nation cant even spell HooOoman-rittes.

So, the booing of Patricia de Lille today was rather unacceptable.
and you want to know what the best part was, you could see they ANC flags waving humorously free.
Great idiot, you can wave a flag, now shut the fuck up and pretend to be able to listen, hows that?
Also, waving your flag wont prove anything to anyone. Other than the fact that you are oblivious in many a sense.

"The commission views this as a disturbing act of intolerance which contradicts the constitutional provisions that guarantee freedom of speech and human dignity."


My favorite part, the peeps couldnt get the rowdy crowd do keep their illiterate mouths shut.. proving the usefulness and level of control our leaders actually have over their people.
FUCK ALL :3

this makes me giddy.
i feel impish.
i want to leave.

I am embarrassed by this.. horribly.
I cant believe this is the fucking image the world gets to see?
For real people, we are supposed to be a world standard country, but we cant even keep our fucking mouths shut and sit the hell down at a speech regarding your HUMAN RIGHTS? Ugh, CUNTry is what we are..

Anyway,
im changing my dreams at this time.
So expect to be annoyed.

Check down for the statue post, id like some more input bitches.

Smile fookers,
life is short.

More here : De Lille Booed - YOUR ANC FLAG SUCKS BALLS.

Sunday, March 20, 2011

And the show begins!

So,

How are you all?
I am very well on this #sarcasticsunday - honestly.

Anyway,
I need some help, and this will be fun for all. I hope.
I want to create a story for 2 living statues.
And by a story i mean names and histories and and and... everything one needs to be, well, a thing?

I want anyone and everyone to help me create this story, tis more fun this way, no?
Yes.

Anway, you can help in ANYWAY you want and can.
you can even tweet me small bits of info, and i will put it all together and they shall be born.
btw, its a boy and a girl statue. But this is something we can move around.

Now, help help help :D
Tell your friends and whomever you wish.

Its adventure time,
smile fookers.

ps. yoko ono loves us.

I wanna be a living statue

And i will.

Saturday, March 19, 2011

How to start a conspiracy and how Rebecca Black destroyed me.


So,
i woke up this morning feeling fresh,
gotta get my bowl, gotta get my cereal.
This is the beauty that is Rebecca Black.
<<< CLICK THERE..

She is an artist unlike any we have met. she makes lady gaga feel shameful.

[ive always been a good liar]

No, the only value a Rebecca Black song might ever have, is to teach alcoholic teenagers how to remember the sequence of the days. Other than that, she might help to turn children as young as 7 in alcoholics.

Now, i have a conspiracy, you know, since the whole Japan thing and everyone is obsessed with the world ending, the the 11th being a bad day.

Here are the facts -
Sylvia Plath died 11th - tragic.
Alexander McQueen died 11th - tragic
Rebecca Black did not die 11th - tragic [many others did]
9/11 - tragic. [zeitgeist begs to differ]

Now, am i completely wrong in saying that last friday, the day of the Japan bang, it is very possible that Rebecca Black was standing in her room, obviously feeling fresh and knowing she'd have to go down, trying make up her mind on which seat to take, seeing as this decision is life changing. So, after this, she obviously went down to the bus stop where her friends were waiting in a sports-car making waves with their arms and the driver nodding his head like yeah. The whole scene just oozed FUN FUN FUN.

So, she got in the car/bus - id like to add at this point, this is all illegal considering she is 13, and then assuming her friends are the same age, also, why would a young driver own a sports car, but they cant afford a real rapper to help them sing?- and she started singing her song. Then Japan happened.
At that moment a meteor was passing by the exact geographical location as her voice was traveling, they hooked up and went to japan, this resulted in tragedy.

[please note the above is not real - well parts of it is, and this makes me sad]


Oh, anyway, also, Rebecca is a very popular name for girls in South Africa, having said this, its safe to assume its very popular amongst black girls. Thus, Rebecca Black's name basically means, Black Girl Black. Which is racist and stuff.
See? Now tell everyone to stay away from this Racist Pop Artist and her evil influence of Caucasian dominance.
Oh, white people stink is a trending topic on twitter.

ANYWAY,
I recently came across a telephone card, you know, the type you use when you need to phone from a public phone?
And i picked it up, and this sparked something inside my obviously functional brain.
I am going to start a tumblr, and on this very special tumblr i will post pictures of ALL the homeless cards i come across while im on my adventures.
Along with who it might have belonged too, if i feel like typing that. And where i found it.
Im basically opening a safe-home for cards that get left out in the rain.
Im basically adopting Orphan cards.

Oh, but i have to run now.
i'm exhausted, not feeling fresh. And thus, no bowl or cereal for me.
smile fookers.
i love you all, yoko.