How to start a conspiracy and how Rebecca Black destroyed me.

So,
i woke up this morning feeling fresh,
gotta get my bowl, gotta get my cereal.
This is the beauty that is Rebecca Black. <<< CLICK THERE..

She is an artist unlike any we have met. she makes lady gaga feel shameful.

[ive always been a good liar]

No, the only value a Rebecca Black song might ever have, is to teach alcoholic teenagers how to remember the sequence of the days. Other than that, she might help to turn children as young as 7 in alcoholics.

Now, i have a conspiracy, you know, since the whole Japan thing and everyone is obsessed with the world ending, the the 11th being a bad day.

Here are the facts -
Sylvia Plath died 11th - tragic.
Alexander McQueen died 11th - tragic
Rebecca Black did not die 11th - tragic [many others did]
9/11 - tragic. [zeitgeist begs to differ]

Now, am i completely wrong in saying that last friday, the day of the Japan bang, it is very possible that Rebecca Black was standing in her room, obviously feeling fresh and knowing she'd have to go down, trying make up her mind on which seat to take, seeing as this decision is life changing. So, after this, she obviously went down to the bus stop where her friends were waiting in a sports-car making waves with their arms and the driver nodding his head like yeah. The whole scene just oozed FUN FUN FUN.

So, she got in the car/bus - id like to add at this point, this is all illegal considering she is 13, and then assuming her friends are the same age, also, why would a young driver own a sports car, but they cant afford a real rapper to help them sing?- and she started singing her song. Then Japan happened.
At that moment a meteor was passing by the exact geographical location as her voice was traveling, they hooked up and went to japan, this resulted in tragedy.

[please note the above is not real - well parts of it is, and this makes me sad]


Oh, anyway, also, Rebecca is a very popular name for girls in South Africa, having said this, its safe to assume its very popular amongst black girls. Thus, Rebecca Black's name basically means, Black Girl Black. Which is racist and stuff.
See? Now tell everyone to stay away from this Racist Pop Artist and her evil influence of Caucasian dominance.
Oh, white people stink is a trending topic on twitter.

ANYWAY,
I recently came across a telephone card, you know, the type you use when you need to phone from a public phone?
And i picked it up, and this sparked something inside my obviously functional brain.
I am going to start a tumblr, and on this very special tumblr i will post pictures of ALL the homeless cards i come across while im on my adventures.
Along with who it might have belonged too, if i feel like typing that. And where i found it.
Im basically opening a safe-home for cards that get left out in the rain.
Im basically adopting Orphan cards.

Oh, but i have to run now.
i'm exhausted, not feeling fresh. And thus, no bowl or cereal for me.
smile fookers.
i love you all, yoko.