So, how are you all doing?
I always start these entries like I do most emails. Which probably explains why I am unemployed and really not phased.
I recently decided that if you do not spend each and every fucking moment you have online searching for quotes by people who are better than you, then you are not using the internet right. Its a simple truth.
Which is why I have decided to blog about Andy Warhol being not just a brilliantly entertaining man, a god-like artist and a super human, but also a prophet.
Now you all know how we like to think of Nostradamus or that lovely yet terribly insane Harold Camping as the only true prophets. But I am sorry to inform you all, you are wrong. Andy Warhol was a prophet in his own right. And one I'd much rather believe in.
So, lets take a look at some of his prophetic quotes.
"Everyone will be famous for 15 minutes"
If you have ever been quoted on any of the million and 4 social networks currently available for our enjoyment, then you have proved the man to speak truth. Think that time your one friend from Canada quoted something you had said on facebook and some random people commented/liked it. HONEY YOU HAVE EXPERIENCED THE FAME. it might have been a very lame version.. but it was fame. See, according to the World English Dictionary fame is listed as the following : the state of being widely known
So, if you are say in, South Africa, and your friend in Canada shared your little fart of wisdom, you have WIDELY known. for a few minutes at least.
So, some of you nay-wishers will disagree and bring up the following quotes "I'm bored with that line. I never use it anymore. My new line is "In 15 minutes everybody will be famous."
To you I have one thing to say. Twitter. Tweet to enough people, and in a few minutes your silly little words will have a few starts and some retweets. this usually doesnt last long. The man was right.
Another example of the man and his prophetic words.. is the following:
I used to think that everything was just being funny but now I don't know. I mean, how can you tell?
Now if you use twitter, you will know that NOTHING is new anymore. Things that made you laugh when you signed up a few years ago, is now nothing but a simple repetition of the same words in a different order. Reality Television for example, how many orange people do we now have to view as we sit on our couches shouting obscenities at the screen.
The next one is truth as no one can argue. How many times have you not commented on a picture of a famous person in a magazine or on facebook/twitter/beebo/hi5/myspace/friendster/myyearbook/etc saying absurd things like "omgzilike, what a K3Wl pic daWGZzz" lets all be honest here, we've all done it.
"My idea of a good picture is one that's in focus and of a famous person"
Once again, the man knew.
Now lets look at the following example:
"Sex is more exciting on the screen and between the pages than between the sheets"
I smell online dating, mxit, BBM and the regular visits to Literorica.com that ALL of your children are making without you knowing, just like you are.
Another example of this: "The most exciting attractions are between two opposites that never meet"
AND one more: "The most exciting thing is not doing it. If you fall in love with someone and never do it, it's much more exciting"
We all either have a friend, or know of someone who has gone "Omg, like.. I know we have never met. BUT HE IS THE ONE.. I SWEAR IT.. OMG OMG OMG.. FUCK.. Yeah I KNOW he is in prison for like RAPE and stuff. but he HAS CHANGED"
Now parents. This one is about your children/teenagers.
"I have Social Disease. I have to go out every night. If I stay home one night I start spreading rumors to my dogs"
Your kids either already say things like "BUT MOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM. JANE IS GONNA BE THERE AND HER MOM IS LIKE A TOTAL BITCH AND YOU DO NOT WANT TO BE THAT, LIKE EVER.. ITS GONNA BE YUMZIES.. YEAH I KNOW ITS MONDAY BITCH.. I MEAN MOM. IM 14 FOR FUCKS SAKE MOTHER" or they eventually will. have fun raising your spawn.
And the last piece of prophecy/quote I will be discussing tonight is:
"I suppose I have a really loose interpretation of "work," because I think that just being alive is so much work at something you don't always want to do. The machinery is always going. Even when you sleep"
For this, look no further than any of your friends social networking updates. we are bombarded with useless status updates like "Omg, today was so much work, I spent like.. an hour getting my hair ready just to have that bitch Mel cancel on me, so then I drank like 3 cups of coffee, thankfully the machine made it while I took a nap on the couch, and then I spent the rest of the day on google finding things like how old Sarah J Parker is, and how many horse jokes there are that include her. Also, I then wrote an annoying blog entry about Andy Warhol and how Prophetic he was.. hahaha, I'm not prophetic but I am pathetic" [did you guys get that? I made fun of myself]
So yeah, I have to go, because I hear fireworks, but they might be the start of the rapture and I'd like to be in bed when my mother gets taken so as to spare the light my presence.
love and peace fookers.
