Andy Warhol was a Prophet.

So, how are you all doing?
I always start these entries like I do most emails. Which probably explains why I am unemployed and really not phased.

I recently decided that if you do not spend each and every fucking moment you have online searching for quotes by people who are better than you, then you are not using the internet right. Its a simple truth.
Which is why I have decided to blog about Andy Warhol being not just a brilliantly entertaining man, a god-like artist and a super human, but also a prophet.

Now you all know how we like to think of Nostradamus or that lovely yet terribly insane Harold Camping as the only true prophets. But I am sorry to inform you all, you are wrong. Andy Warhol was a prophet in his own right. And one I'd much rather believe in.


So, lets take a look at some of his prophetic quotes.

"Everyone will be famous for 15 minutes"
If you have ever been quoted on any of the million and 4 social networks currently available for our enjoyment, then you have proved the man to speak truth. Think that time your one friend from Canada quoted something you had said on facebook and some random people commented/liked it. HONEY YOU HAVE EXPERIENCED THE FAME. it might have been a very lame version.. but it was fame. See, according to the World English Dictionary fame is listed as the following : the state of being widely known
So, if you are say in, South Africa, and your friend in Canada shared your little fart of wisdom, you have WIDELY known. for a few minutes at least.

So, some of you nay-wishers will disagree and bring up the following quotes "I'm bored with that line. I never use it anymore. My new line is "In 15 minutes everybody will be famous."
To you I have one thing to say. Twitter. Tweet to enough people, and in a few minutes your silly little words will have a few starts and some retweets. this usually doesnt last long. The man was right.

Another example of the man and his prophetic words.. is the following:
I used to think that everything was just being funny but now I don't know. I mean, how can you tell?
Now if you use twitter, you will know that NOTHING is new anymore. Things that made you laugh when you signed up a few years ago, is now nothing but a simple repetition of the same words in a different order. Reality Television for example, how many orange people do we now have to view as we sit on our couches shouting obscenities at the screen.

The next one is truth as no one can argue. How many times have you not commented on a picture of a famous person in a magazine or on facebook/twitter/beebo/hi5/myspace/friendster/myyearbook/etc saying absurd things like "omgzilike, what a K3Wl pic daWGZzz" lets all be honest here, we've all done it.
"My idea of a good picture is one that's in focus and of a famous person"
Once again, the man knew.

Now lets look at the following example:
"Sex is more exciting on the screen and between the pages than between the sheets"
I smell online dating, mxit, BBM and the regular visits to Literorica.com that ALL of your children are making without you knowing, just like you are.
Another example of this: "The most exciting attractions are between two opposites that never meet"
AND one more: "The most exciting thing is not doing it. If you fall in love with someone and never do it, it's much more exciting"
We all either have a friend, or know of someone who has gone "Omg, like.. I know we have never met. BUT HE IS THE ONE.. I SWEAR IT.. OMG OMG OMG.. FUCK.. Yeah I KNOW he is in prison for like RAPE and stuff. but he HAS CHANGED"

Now parents. This one is about your children/teenagers.
"I have Social Disease. I have to go out every night. If I stay home one night I start spreading rumors to my dogs"
Your kids either already say things like "BUT MOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM. JANE IS GONNA BE THERE AND HER MOM IS LIKE A TOTAL BITCH AND YOU DO NOT WANT TO BE THAT, LIKE EVER.. ITS GONNA BE YUMZIES.. YEAH I KNOW ITS MONDAY BITCH.. I MEAN MOM. IM 14 FOR FUCKS SAKE MOTHER" or they eventually will. have fun raising your spawn.

And the last piece of prophecy/quote I will be discussing tonight is:
"I suppose I have a really loose interpretation of "work," because I think that just being alive is so much work at something you don't always want to do. The machinery is always going. Even when you sleep"
For this, look no further than any of your friends social networking updates. we are bombarded with useless status updates like "Omg, today was so much work, I spent like.. an hour getting my hair ready just to have that bitch Mel cancel on me, so then I drank like 3 cups of coffee, thankfully the machine made it while I took a nap on the couch, and then I spent the rest of the day on google finding things like how old Sarah J Parker is, and how many horse jokes there are that include her. Also, I then wrote an annoying blog entry about Andy Warhol and how Prophetic he was.. hahaha, I'm not prophetic but I am pathetic" [did you guys get that? I made fun of myself]

So yeah, I have to go, because I hear fireworks, but they might be the start of the rapture and I'd like to be in bed when my mother gets taken so as to spare the light my presence.

love and peace fookers.

How to start a conspiracy and how Rebecca Black destroyed me.

So,
i woke up this morning feeling fresh,
gotta get my bowl, gotta get my cereal.
This is the beauty that is Rebecca Black. <<< CLICK THERE..

She is an artist unlike any we have met. she makes lady gaga feel shameful.

[ive always been a good liar]

No, the only value a Rebecca Black song might ever have, is to teach alcoholic teenagers how to remember the sequence of the days. Other than that, she might help to turn children as young as 7 in alcoholics.

Now, i have a conspiracy, you know, since the whole Japan thing and everyone is obsessed with the world ending, the the 11th being a bad day.

Here are the facts -
Sylvia Plath died 11th - tragic.
Alexander McQueen died 11th - tragic
Rebecca Black did not die 11th - tragic [many others did]
9/11 - tragic. [zeitgeist begs to differ]

Now, am i completely wrong in saying that last friday, the day of the Japan bang, it is very possible that Rebecca Black was standing in her room, obviously feeling fresh and knowing she'd have to go down, trying make up her mind on which seat to take, seeing as this decision is life changing. So, after this, she obviously went down to the bus stop where her friends were waiting in a sports-car making waves with their arms and the driver nodding his head like yeah. The whole scene just oozed FUN FUN FUN.

So, she got in the car/bus - id like to add at this point, this is all illegal considering she is 13, and then assuming her friends are the same age, also, why would a young driver own a sports car, but they cant afford a real rapper to help them sing?- and she started singing her song. Then Japan happened.
At that moment a meteor was passing by the exact geographical location as her voice was traveling, they hooked up and went to japan, this resulted in tragedy.

[please note the above is not real - well parts of it is, and this makes me sad]


Oh, anyway, also, Rebecca is a very popular name for girls in South Africa, having said this, its safe to assume its very popular amongst black girls. Thus, Rebecca Black's name basically means, Black Girl Black. Which is racist and stuff.
See? Now tell everyone to stay away from this Racist Pop Artist and her evil influence of Caucasian dominance.
Oh, white people stink is a trending topic on twitter.

ANYWAY,
I recently came across a telephone card, you know, the type you use when you need to phone from a public phone?
And i picked it up, and this sparked something inside my obviously functional brain.
I am going to start a tumblr, and on this very special tumblr i will post pictures of ALL the homeless cards i come across while im on my adventures.
Along with who it might have belonged too, if i feel like typing that. And where i found it.
Im basically opening a safe-home for cards that get left out in the rain.
Im basically adopting Orphan cards.

Oh, but i have to run now.
i'm exhausted, not feeling fresh. And thus, no bowl or cereal for me.
smile fookers.
i love you all, yoko.

i feel like im Vietnamese and living in America..

So,
Hi there..
Do pardon the silence, I've been, distracted.. To say the least?
University, well.. Let's say that's like being slowly raped by monkeys.
And not the cool hot monkey kind..
The dirty fat kind. But hey, its free? Not.

Anyway, I'm supposed to move today. But well.. You know. Lifes a cookie.
And I hate cookies. Food = fat.

This won't ever make sense, this entry. But whatever.
I'm really disappoint. And yes, that's a word I use.
Trying to dumb things down. ;)
I'm homeless now.

I own a million[exaggeration] boxes with books and shit.
And I'm homeless now. So I live in a box.
You better fucking love me!

So, I've been listening to amy winehouse, seriously considering the coke diet.
Maybe ill patent diet cocaine and make a killing in Milan.
Beats having to beg for the room you were promised I guess?

Anyway,
Gotta go slit my wrists and get drunk.
Smile fookers.
Love <3