AI! WeiWei.. lets get naked.

So,
how are you all?
Fantastic.

So I doubt many of the people who know me, know who Ai WeiWei is, the Chinese artist and political activist with the loveable beard and reputation that stretches far beyond the limits of a country who lives a silenced existence.
But the truth is, more of you should know him.

Earlier this year Mr Ai WeiWei was arrested and detained for 81 days by Chinese authorities without any official charges being made. What was this all about?
This is silliness I say, its like being fired from a job as a banker, when in reality you work in retail. Its mean.

Mr Awi Wei surely has a massive hand that can change the world for the better, but unfortunately he is being forced into submission by the government who seem to only want to mass produce toy-cars and dolls.

They for some odd reason, also felt the need to DEMAND that the San Diego Contemporary Museum return two marble chair sculptures built by Ai WeiWei, even though the Museum purchased the sculptures.

Now, the Chinese government is attacking him and some of his staff, regarding a photo that is apparently showing some serious pornographic tendencies.
They claim the photos is aiding in the creation and spread of porn in china.
I am sorry to say, but I doubt this photo is going to arouse anything other than some artistic boners.



See what I mean?
Nothing sexy about that other than when you finally stop looking.

Now, when Mr Ai WeiWei was released he had to pay a generously absurd amount of money as bail, as he was released on charges of tax evasion.
Mr Wei did not have the money required to pay the obscene amounts they demanded, and so supporters of the artist sent money and made generous donations, some even folding money into paper-planes and flying them over his gates and into his garden.

For those of you who would like another art boner, here is his work "Sunflower Seeds" that is the result of hundreds of hours of labour, and work from himself and small factories set up to create 100 million hand-made sunflower seeds that now lay in an exhibition space at the Tate Modern Turbine Hall in London. The piece consists of 100 million porcelain seeds, carved to look exactly the same. Mr Wei is inviting us to poke fun and to open our eyes at the same time, at the mass production that is China.




Now, I have given you a silly intro and my very basic understanding of the issues surrounding ArtReview Magazines most powerful figure for 2011.
But what I really wanted to get at, was the protest.

The world is alight with the sound of protest and occupation actions happening everywhere, and the art and music coming from the camps and protestors surprise and leave us all smiling and hopeful. From Amanda Palmer and her Uke, to the "Bat Sign" sending message of hope to the OWS protestors in the form of a projector onto a building. When the followers and enthusiastic fans of Mr Ai WeiWei heard of the outrageous of the Chinese Governments actions and claims in his "spreading of porn" by posing unsuggestively on a chair amongst 4 acceptably attractive woman [i assume its a niche market] they would not sit back.
This time they protested in a way I deem beautiful. By posting picture of themselves naekd online. Nothing suggestive, nothing sexual. Some mocking old art work and sculptures, some on the toilet, some just standing there. Some of them hide their faces and others hide their genitalia underneath images of Mr Wei's face.
Its all too beautifully alluring and fun to be considered bad.
CHECK OUT THE IMAGES HERE.. if you read chinese and can tell me what it says, i'd be ever so grateful.

Now this is enough about Ai WeiWei, because even here in my own Country we are facing a sort of inevitable destruction of our freedom.
Tomorrow Parliament in South Africa will vote on the Protection of Information Bill, if this bill passes then this basically gives the government the right to control and sensor the media. Do you want this to happen? Did not think so.
You like reading about random shit in the BEELD way to much. So show your support for #BlackFriday tomorrow, wear black. Wear black to school, wear black to work. They might argue with you, but if you don't show your support to stop this Bill, then one of these days you wont be able to even consider going against something because you would have given the government the right to control who you are, and what you view.

I will post pictures of my #BlackFriday outfit tomorrow, I will obviously be rocking it Lady Gaga style.

For now, love and peace.

Andy Warhol was a Prophet.

So, how are you all doing?
I always start these entries like I do most emails. Which probably explains why I am unemployed and really not phased.

I recently decided that if you do not spend each and every fucking moment you have online searching for quotes by people who are better than you, then you are not using the internet right. Its a simple truth.
Which is why I have decided to blog about Andy Warhol being not just a brilliantly entertaining man, a god-like artist and a super human, but also a prophet.

Now you all know how we like to think of Nostradamus or that lovely yet terribly insane Harold Camping as the only true prophets. But I am sorry to inform you all, you are wrong. Andy Warhol was a prophet in his own right. And one I'd much rather believe in.


So, lets take a look at some of his prophetic quotes.

"Everyone will be famous for 15 minutes"
If you have ever been quoted on any of the million and 4 social networks currently available for our enjoyment, then you have proved the man to speak truth. Think that time your one friend from Canada quoted something you had said on facebook and some random people commented/liked it. HONEY YOU HAVE EXPERIENCED THE FAME. it might have been a very lame version.. but it was fame. See, according to the World English Dictionary fame is listed as the following : the state of being widely known
So, if you are say in, South Africa, and your friend in Canada shared your little fart of wisdom, you have WIDELY known. for a few minutes at least.

So, some of you nay-wishers will disagree and bring up the following quotes "I'm bored with that line. I never use it anymore. My new line is "In 15 minutes everybody will be famous."
To you I have one thing to say. Twitter. Tweet to enough people, and in a few minutes your silly little words will have a few starts and some retweets. this usually doesnt last long. The man was right.

Another example of the man and his prophetic words.. is the following:
I used to think that everything was just being funny but now I don't know. I mean, how can you tell?
Now if you use twitter, you will know that NOTHING is new anymore. Things that made you laugh when you signed up a few years ago, is now nothing but a simple repetition of the same words in a different order. Reality Television for example, how many orange people do we now have to view as we sit on our couches shouting obscenities at the screen.

The next one is truth as no one can argue. How many times have you not commented on a picture of a famous person in a magazine or on facebook/twitter/beebo/hi5/myspace/friendster/myyearbook/etc saying absurd things like "omgzilike, what a K3Wl pic daWGZzz" lets all be honest here, we've all done it.
"My idea of a good picture is one that's in focus and of a famous person"
Once again, the man knew.

Now lets look at the following example:
"Sex is more exciting on the screen and between the pages than between the sheets"
I smell online dating, mxit, BBM and the regular visits to Literorica.com that ALL of your children are making without you knowing, just like you are.
Another example of this: "The most exciting attractions are between two opposites that never meet"
AND one more: "The most exciting thing is not doing it. If you fall in love with someone and never do it, it's much more exciting"
We all either have a friend, or know of someone who has gone "Omg, like.. I know we have never met. BUT HE IS THE ONE.. I SWEAR IT.. OMG OMG OMG.. FUCK.. Yeah I KNOW he is in prison for like RAPE and stuff. but he HAS CHANGED"

Now parents. This one is about your children/teenagers.
"I have Social Disease. I have to go out every night. If I stay home one night I start spreading rumors to my dogs"
Your kids either already say things like "BUT MOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM. JANE IS GONNA BE THERE AND HER MOM IS LIKE A TOTAL BITCH AND YOU DO NOT WANT TO BE THAT, LIKE EVER.. ITS GONNA BE YUMZIES.. YEAH I KNOW ITS MONDAY BITCH.. I MEAN MOM. IM 14 FOR FUCKS SAKE MOTHER" or they eventually will. have fun raising your spawn.

And the last piece of prophecy/quote I will be discussing tonight is:
"I suppose I have a really loose interpretation of "work," because I think that just being alive is so much work at something you don't always want to do. The machinery is always going. Even when you sleep"
For this, look no further than any of your friends social networking updates. we are bombarded with useless status updates like "Omg, today was so much work, I spent like.. an hour getting my hair ready just to have that bitch Mel cancel on me, so then I drank like 3 cups of coffee, thankfully the machine made it while I took a nap on the couch, and then I spent the rest of the day on google finding things like how old Sarah J Parker is, and how many horse jokes there are that include her. Also, I then wrote an annoying blog entry about Andy Warhol and how Prophetic he was.. hahaha, I'm not prophetic but I am pathetic" [did you guys get that? I made fun of myself]

So yeah, I have to go, because I hear fireworks, but they might be the start of the rapture and I'd like to be in bed when my mother gets taken so as to spare the light my presence.

love and peace fookers.

See that LESBIAN over there? Yeah..

Noxolo Nkosana, 23, is the latest victim of a series of violent attacks against lesbians.

I shall keep it short today.
I just wanted to quickly say something.

You guys do know what a Lesbian is right? That's a girl who finds other girls sexually appealing. some of them are teachers, others are mothers, some of them work in IT and some of them GET VIOLENTLY RAPED BY MEN WHO THINK THEY ARE FIXING THEM.

There is nothing okay about "corrective" rape.
I can not for the fucking life of me fathom the idea of sticking your dirty dick into someone AGAINST THEIR WILL, when they openly admit to being lesbian.
How are you fixing anything?

Corrective Rape is disgusting.

So, march against Corrective Rape this Saturday at JHB PRIDE.

Invite everyone. Its always fun.
peace and happiness fookers.

ps. Google it if you want to know more, its disturbing. We live in a free and open country, but still some people feel the need to destroy and bash people for accepting themselves. FUCK YOU RAPISTS.

A curious case of neck-pain.

Ahoy.

How are you all doing? Great.

So, I have been to many a random place below, on-top and behind many a strange stage..
But last night was an experience so odd to me, I feel it deserves a little blog.

I was at some sort of Metal show thing.
Yes, a metal show thing.
Now, anyone who knows me, knows that I'm about as metal as a couch or a potato, but for friends you will do anything. And honestly, it was rather fantastic.

HOWEVER, I feel the need to inform you all that I was probably on some far-off planet, because not only did I witness the most majestic of all creatures, the Unicorn.. I also seem to have stumbled into the cave of a Metal-Imp.
Yes, a METAL IMP.

As the crowd of people whipped and banged their necks to the beat of drums and guitars screeching away into the dark smoke fueled room their hair spinning and spinning heads bobbing up and down like some drunk halloween night game.. He took the stage as his own.
He was built like an Imp with hair standing at odd ends, his head spinning with the crowd as he finger-fucked his guitar into nothingness, then he looks up and the most thundering growl escapes the little belly of the metal imp, paralyzing the crowd. Targeting my friend.

It was an experience. It was a trip into the cave and dwelling of some of the worlds most open minded and terrifyingly accepting people. A community of people thriving of the low resonating growls of a bearded man.

From the metal cults[you read bands] of tomorrow, to the ones that have been around since before metal was allowed on CD.

Though I have not been converted into a fan or follower of metal.
I have a new found respect for them.

love and such fookers.

a very, very short story with no luggage but loads of baggage.

I sat up in my bed with nothing around me but the memories of last night. My mind felt blank as my room, the only accessories the clothes that have been seeking refuge on my floor for weeks.
I could hear the movement of another body in my house, the space was small. I could hear the movement of bare feet slowly dragging around the carpet in the spare-room and finally slapping onto the dirty white of the hallway. I imagined the pink feet turning red with each failed movement. You tried so hard not to wake me up. But every morning I would sit up in bed like this while you moved around my house. My mop of brown hair getting more and more tangled as I moved the back of my head in small circles across the material covering the headrest. You would clean up the evenings mess, even if there was nothing to clean. And I would sit up in bed pretending to be asleep. It was a sort of ritual we shared without ever realising it. The silence of the house carved this into our minds like so many stamps on a letter. It stuck to us with intent and meaning.
You had been living with me for a few weeks now. You showed up seeking safety, I asked you to stay for my own. The truth is, I had never felt more comfortable. I now sit back wondering what life was like before you moved in, even though it was no more than a month or so ago. I could not remember if I was scared of the space between the kitchen and the hallway. But the moment you showed up I realised this was the lonely spot in my house. And now I needed the slaps of your feet and the heavy breathing of your body to fill that void.
It scared me whenever I thought of this. How quickly we are to recognize a missing spot in a picture the moment we add a new face or movement.
It petrified me to believe that I was ever that lonely. In my mind there was never just me. I never got up alone in this house, eating my breakfast cereal as the morning news ran on repeat. There was only now. There was always another person ready to listen. You belonged at my kitchen table sipping beer, reading a book I would eventually tease you for picking up.

It took me no more than a few days to beg you to stay. But you told me that this was not possible. That you had places to go. You had the money and the time. I could not imagine having to be alone again. The honesty in each of your words, never belittling me.
Gently letting me down from an ideal I had carved into my own body. I scar on the body was no more than a memory with a house. And then you explained to me that memories are not to be held onto, that they were supposed to be used to create the outlines of the future. The words caught me off guard and I stumbled across each verb and noun like a drunkard.
But eventually I realized that you meant not to hurt or betray me. You only gave me what you had to give.
And I made peace with not ever having all of you, I knew after all that I would forever have a part of you, a small bit that no one else could ever have. And I figured that made it all better. That small space was better than all of you. It meant that the part of you I got to keep was more mine than anyone else would ever have. The small part I owned meant no one would ever fully have you, unless I agreed. And I knew that you had a part of me as well.

I finally got out of bed and walked into the kitchen to find you had gone. A note carefully pinned onto my refrigerator told me that much. The fridge was humming as if nothing had happened and I kicked it for its inconsideration.
I tried so hard to remember the night before you told me you would leave. I begged to have one more cup of coffee with you. One more silent debate while the sirens on an ambulance cried into the distance of our town. But you were packed and ready to go. I knew you would return months later. I knew this because you promised me. And I could feel the honesty in you promise as much as i felt the loneliness in your absence, but who was to say that I would not be in bed again. How many lives would you have come across while I was sitting at home waiting. How many beds and blankets would touch your body. You would not care. You’ve never been one for details. Much like the first painting you bought me, the first of many, it was simple and with no finer details other than the artist name. And you loved it more than me. Months from now did not feel real enough. I made songs and letters of silence to fill the time between day and night. I plastered the walls in my hall and my kitchen with pictures from magazines, photos of strangers I took on the bus, pieces of clippings about deaths in different countries, lines of poetry that read nothing more than absence of the heart to fill the walk between the different rooms of my house.

I walked back to my bed, the front door stood open as I had walked outside to see if maybe you had decided not to go. I wanted to believe that you were sitting in your car waiting for me to run out and stop you. But I saw only tracks on the gravel and the house across the road within which the old lady with the 3 cats lived.
I lay my head back onto the yellow pillows I had picked when I was new at playing house, and I sank into the deepest pool of myself I could find. And I waited.

Pray For Something Real.

I've recently received a string of emails begging me to please pray for Lady Gaga and her army of evil.
I'm not sure why I should spend my days praying for someone I don't know, to save them from an evil I openly doubt.

So let's start praying for something real, like perhaps the Rhino's?
Or the fucking brain-washed children across the globe being forced into sex-trafficking?

Every time I receive an email asking me to pray for Lady Gaga, my response is the same, are you fucking kidding me?

Let's take a look at the 'evil' Lady Gaga has done in recent years :
1. sang a song about a boy called Alejandro [we wish it was God - that way our hate seems okay]
2. She's done charity events, and stood up for gay rights.

She's obviously a vindictive evil motherfucker?

http://www.looktothestars.org/celebrity/1944-lady-gaga <-- read it.

Now, lets take for example, the pope and our favorite dictator, Robert Mugabe of Zimbabwe and famine fame.

The pope is a religious icon, even more so than we should care to admit.
He is a man that people should look up to, he should fight for the right of society and its people. But he doesn't. But we dare not argue this, he is the fucking pope after all?
The tea drinking in heaven motherfucking pope.

Now, Robert Mugabe, long time dictator, murderer and Hitler mustache enthusiast of Zimbabwe.

Guess, what. The hang out together. http://articles.cnn.com/2011-04-30/world/vatican.beatification.mugabe_1_beatification-vatican-city-rome?_s=PM:WORLD

Why are we not being forced to email-pray for this?

Robert Mugabe, a man that is know around the world to have KILLED millions of people, welcomed by the pope.
But we worry our pretty little heads shitless about a pop-star with weird hats and exciting lyrics.

Our children can pray and worship at the feet of the church and its leaders, but don't you fucking dare play a song about drinking a beer and having fun on the radio.

I'm not here to tell you to like Lady Gaga, or to dislike the Pope.
I'm only saying, if you are gonna send useless fucking emails about praying for someone who's done more to help the world than most of your religious institutes, google around a bit before you assume.

Its in all religions. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jesus_Camp <-- some more fun reading.

Now, if you feel the need to send an email, calling for mass prayer, then I'm down with that. Please just send me one with a 'cause worth my prayer/time.
Send me an email asking me to help/pray/donate/part-take in action groups such as save the rhino or whales. Or feed a child.
Broadcasting hate towards a person who's helping the world, then paying adoration to a cause that's done nothing but feed fear into children and adults alike, is not going to change anything.

You are wasting the time of everyone involved.

Rather go feed a poor kid, give some money to save the wild life and walk to the fucking store instead of driving your over-priced petrol guzzling ozone destroying car with your stupid bumper sticker.

If you want to make a difference, then make a real one.
Besides, I'm pretty sure you don't give a fuck about Lady Gaga's soul.


Now go spread some peace and love.

pardon.

So,
my language is terrible.
well, on this blog at least.
And I'm not talking about the cussing.

But whatever.
You live you learn.

peace and love fookers.
smile. <3

ps. a poem :

The little lovers,
How they cross the distance with such haste
How about the sky?
Hands clasped in awkward movement.
I smell their sweaty palms
Cupping each other.
It’s what they want.

The cigarette smoke
Littering their chitter-chat
An intimate party
A small dresser
And then none.

The darkened night
Kissing my face,
As he yours.
But mine with no distraction.
And then they smile.

He gently brushes hair aside,
With rusty yellowed fingers
You seem to believe all of those tiny chirps
Oh woe the silence.
One dreadful moment lost.
And you slip,
And he nips
And gone.

The little lovers,
Their feet so blistered with adore.
Their lips chapped from moments missed by all.
Forgotten yet shared.
Covered miles clinging on like baby born
In case the one should pop.
And float into the night sky towards me.
Blissfully dismissing the adoration and compassion.
Yet slightly amused.
On a dresser.
At the party
And none.

Oh woe the one
Who has not you.
Woe the one that is not yours.
For like a child he shall claw
Don’t leave me.

[there is no real deeper meaning, for once. It was a whimsical idea that I realized. Oh woe me.
<3]

p.s.s I will add pictures again soon.

A suicide turned simple or thursday.

So,
the day was eventful. Here goes.

It all started the morning of the suicide attempt down the road. All of us either ran or drove towards the idling car fueled by the idea of rescuing its victim. The woman inside the car seemed happy despite her situation. She seemed almost safe from the world, hidden inside her small gas chamber [regardless of the terrible location]. The car turned into a sort of womb for when the worlds pressure just became too much. I could see the dark cloak of the night sky gently blowing over her mind.
It was a pure and safe place before the world started seeping through the unseen cracks. Even the strongest of minds have simple cracks.

I thought back, remembering myself a few years ago trying to explain to someone the liquid state of the brain. That moment between wanting everything in life to work out, and everything to fall to pieces. That was the liquid state of the brain, and this woman had drowned. She sat, blissfully gassing her cares away, inviting onto her the coldness and darkness. Begging to be enveloped. Her pure mind being blistered by the thoughts fighting to take shape. She wanted to depart.

When I woke up this morning, it seemed the day promised nothing but marking and sitting. Had this woman not decided to life our spirits by dampening hers, the day would have gone unnoticed. I find it funny how things work out, we dropped her and her broken spirit of, a husband or a friend agrees to take care of it. And we rush home to be heroes. We are odd creatures.
She was trying to end a life she loathed, and we took it upon ourselves to elongate it.

The events do not bother me, not nearly as much as my own mind now seems to do.
I woke up that morning, complained about the weather and my clothes. Things I can't change out of pure habit. The bad habit of waking up in a bad mood daily. The habit that smells up my neighborhood and is slowly seeping its way across the world.
The moment our alarms go off, our eyes open and our first reaction is to complain about the time the weather or the date.
I woke up hating the cold, hating my clothes and wanting more.


I hope this wasn't too serious. or lame.
Just something that tickled my brain.

peace and love fookers. <3

Things my brother should never have said. and pottermore.

So,

How are you all?
Today I am writing because I am sick and tired of studying.
English grammar can go die a lonely educated death. A death like only Plath could write I would hope. Plath or Emilie Autumn. We want darkness.

We are now in the 6th month in the year of our lord 2011.
No, kidding. Never before has a year been less lord-fueled.

It's kinda fucking sick how they put tigers in cages at big rap gigs.
PETA SUCK ME.

Pottermore.com was launched just now, and its sure to be amazing. I believe this fully.
But this follow the owls business, its only ever going to make me want to kill myself?
I can't fucking follow the owls, this is South Africa, all of the bloody owls have been killed and stuffed.
Unless you mean those silly 'camera owls' they put around malls.
Then I will enter first, because it's a known fact that I love dancing around in front of camera's. Especially security cameras.

Anyway, this is not going to be long.
As I actually have to return to my grammar grave. where I will slowly die. a painful yet poetic death.
or not.

more about my brother soon <3

I was thinking..

So,
this has been one of those morning.
Those wonderfully dull mornings where you sit around and do nothing.
SO, to ease my boredom, I've once again cranked up the Bjork and spun around my house wearing nothing but my Kimono and a pair of mis-matched socks.

But, even-though this usually helps me loads, I still don't feel motivated enough to consider social interaction for the remainder of this week.
I would usually start talking about some big issue regarding sadness and anger in the world.
But I am without anger for now. Oh wait,
I was very angry when my phone died. But as I have previously promised to never blog about my phone again. I wont.

Oh, a rat ate one of our birds legs last night, its fucking gross. and sad.
But like, how do you not notice your leg is being chowed on by some rodent?
Was he like, oh wait, are you talking about the time we flew over the cuckoo's nest?.. FUCK THERE IS A FUCKING RAT EATING MY FUCKING LEG. anyway, where was I? Oh yes.. the Cuckoo's nest..

Anyway, I danced. outside my house. with a friend/soul being. To lady gaga's Judas.
And was it amazing? Yes, yes it was.

Also, the end of the world is a upon us, and as i lay in my bed last night, covered by my blanket of queerness. [the blanket is pink and red with a picture of a dutch girl fishing on it] I thought to myself, why? This weekend is probably the best weekend I was planning on having in forever, because not only would I have officially voted for the first time and the new Gaga album would be close, but it had a Saturday and a Sunday. Both of those are my favorite days of the weekend. And now the end of humanity is ruining this for me, and many like-minded beings I am sure.
So, shall we protest this untimely demise of society and its ways?
Shall we fight to try and save what is supposedly the end of the world as we know it?

Or shall I crank up the Bjork and spin around in my kimono until time doesn't matter anymore. Until I eventually inherit something of some value that I could sell and then use the money to buy loads of pot and a ticket to anywhere but home.

We should vote on this.
Bjork-Kimo-Dance-Party
OR
Protest the end of humanity

Only you can decide. the fate is in your hands now children.

Oh, and btw. Im in a band now. its called. WIZARD VISTA and the UNDER-AGED DANCERS.
It's mostly a performance piece consisting of me and my friend Lara, my under-aged brother and my brother with real musical talent making mouth-noises that sound similar to Emilie Autumn songs while we do insane cool dance moves to Judas by Lady Gaga.

We also have devised a way of not even needing an audience, where we make turns to jump of stage during parts of insanity on stage and then cheering ourselves on.
We call this the self-cheering-circle-of-amazing-liquid.

I leave you all with this message.
For every person there is another person, but your current person might be my person and thus heart-break and agony are inevitable. Also, not even marriage can secure you and your love[r].

ps. smile fookers.
pss. use brac[ets] at awkwar(d) times. it confuses[] people.
and makes your sentences look more formal and fancy.
psss. drink too much. vodka gives you the same hang-over.

OH, before I go.
Vodka and Wine give you the same hangover but the person you wake up next to is usually different depending on what you drank.

psss. love and cheap hookers.

Religion < Love

So,
hi all.
How are you all doing? Im rather fine. ish.
I've been enjoying my weekend thus far, but i am being tested to my limits.
I am on the edge of killing my moms lovely parrot.

Anyway, this is not why i decided to blog today.
I was on youtube, cause i have no life. nor any friends.
And i was watching some stand-up comedy, yes.. all of this is true.
And i came across some clips of Shappi Khorsandi, the lovely Iranian comedian.

Check her out.

But anyway, so we all know how youtube works right?
You watch one video, this leads to another.. and well eventually you move from stand-up comedy to execution?

[insert ; i am on the edge of stabbing this fucking bird to bits]

Oh, anyway, execution.
I cam across this video.
Now, i will admit the editing sucks balls, and the music might be why i was driven to the state of anger i am in. But i doubt it. Its the idea of the idiocy of these people. Nations of stupidity allowed to be on our planet?
How can we let this still be a thing?

So, and as much as i wanted to stay away from writing a blog entry about homosexuality, or as we within society fondly recognize these beings ; faggots or dykes.
Funny. till its you.

Anyway, this brings me to the story of Mohammad Asgari and Ayaz Marhoni



Nice, their crimes might have been odd, or wrong. But the idea behind them being in this state remains the horrible disease they carry, being gay.
its terrible actually.[sarcasm font]

Funny thing is, they never actually even admitted to being gay.
And they were charged with the rape of a 13 year old boy, but Iran being the lovely pro-homo country it is, the whole idea probably just seemed more fun and well, easier to charge?

Regardless, to get to my point, the whole idea behind crimes of homosexuality is usually religion.
The Bible says this, that holy book says that..
But do you think the bible or your holy book likes this?
Do you think this is what Jesus or God Or Allah or whomever you believe in, wanted?



Cause if that's what they wanted, they've lost a supporter.

Now lovers,
imagine this.

You and your bf/gf are walking in the street, he's hold your hand, you are so happy and he feeds you fucking ice-cream, its sweet and old people look at you and fondly stare at their old husbands/wives and think "that was us at some point"
the ice-cream covers your smug smile and drips down you tight top and now your boobs are full of vanilla ice-cream. You laugh and he cleans your shirt for you.
sounds pretty cool right? pretty legit? pretty chill?

Now imagine that, and then you get killed :D
FUN RIGHT?



Here is they Key :

Homosexuality Legal
Dark Blue : Same Sex Marriage or as we like to call it, marriage.
Blue : a form of partnership, kinda like a strip-tease but a bit better.
Light Blue : foreign same-sex marriage recognized. We dont like it, but meh?
Gray : We wont kill you, but we dont think your marriage is valid.

Homosexuality is illegal
Yellow : Minimal Penalty
Orange : Large Penalty
Red : Life in Prison [uhm.. did they think this through?]
Maroon : Death Penalty

Jealous much?
Love is obviously a very dangerous thing, when there are too many tits or too many willies involved..
Like an explosion. But not.

Oh yeah, and the dark gray areas are like.. unknown. Take a change?
its like a lucky-pack for gay travelers. :D

Oh lets visit a gray area. we either die, or fuck around. Cause its either illegal or our marriage becomes void. FUN FUN FUN.

Want to do some more reading? HERE IS FUN READING STUFFZ

Now, before anyone attacks me or whatever, im not saying Jesus is bad, nor am i saying Allah is bad, or whomever you believe in.
Im saying YOU FUCKED IT UP. YOU ARE BAD. its not their fault that we are a bunch of fucking retarded space-monkey's.
Stop please dont send a message telling me im being mean and blasphemous, cause im not being rude towards a divine being. Im hating on religion, which btw, you can study and help create. Its a human thing. :D

Anway,
i feel a bit better now.
But im still kinda upset and shit.

Smile lovers,
One day all will be okay.
Love and Such.

ps. watch this, its amusing

pss.

Here are some more fun pictures.

This is Irans President.. and a friend. ;p.


Some cool art-and-crafts signs :D


This is how one should raise children..


And this one is one that makes many people in robes mad.



Anyway, im going to go drink wine now and talk about unicorns.
Oh, and
psss. If you try and cover the last pictures quote with "times change, not everything is relevant anymore"
Then you are basically saying The Bible is a computer that is updated as we need it to be, but can only be updated by me. Cause im the only one that is important.

And that, we all know. is not the case.

Love and such flower-children of the world.

Be Kinder. You are fucking up my world.

So,
'ello lovers.

How are we all doing on this dandy Tuesday morn' ?
Well, i think its Tuesday.. seeing as Rebecca Black never told us what comes after Sunday, we've been having to guess you see. its terribly inconvenient. horribly.

Anyway,
I gather myself here today to speak to you all about something rather violent.
Hate Mail.
Now, we all love hearing about it, perhaps even sending it [you little swines you!]
However, imagine receiving it, oh, i know, dont worry, so you get some angry replies to some of your hilarious tweets.. that doesnt make it hate mail love.
Imagine spending weeks, months and years working on a project, a song or a painting, a dress or a fucking baby, and people feel the need to bash your brains out about it?
Im sorry lovers, but i'd like to see most of us even attempt drawing a circle with eyes using a red crayon.

Why we feel the need to tell artists they suck 'hairy beanbags' i will never be able to comprehend?

I want you all to know, btw, that your mom and dad did a fucking terrible job of creating you, i could do a better job, they suck, your mom sucks hairy beanbags and your dad touches baby boys..

did that feel good? no, did not think so love.
Now, imagine thats what you get constantly? Well not constantly, but enough?

Im pretty sure its illegal, since its like bullying someone.
And when they snap baby, they snap.
Imagine an angry Emilie Autumn un-leashed into society? Oh love, youd better hide.

But what got me this upset about the whole hate mail thing, the Dresden Dolls.
Its terrible that people actually created an online community to BASH THEM?
Am i missing something here? They allow the mentally retarded online these days?
and by mentally retarded i mean those fucking boobs who actually take time out of their obviously busy [fixing everyone's work] lives, to create and comment on a bloody community invented to hurt someone?
Im ashamed to share the same coding as some of you. the basic coding that is.
the shit that gave me a nose and all that.

anyway, if you want to send hate-mail, imagine finding your mom crying on the floor in the kitchen, surrounded by pieces of paper calling her a beanbag sucking lesbian hooker with no tits and brains the size of your dads private area..
rather rude dont you think?

So, like for real guys, dont send hate-mail.
If you are concerned with something, stop listening or write a peaceful letter asking for an answer? insane ne? imagine peacefully asking for an answer?

Check out the whole community of bashers here - I R INTELEGENNNTE.


anyway, i love you all.
more than yoko ono ever could.
Smile fookers, life is short.

ps. the image is an example of a picture sent to the dresden dolls. <3
specifically Amanda Palmer.

pss. if you really need to be rude to someone, send me anger. I can take it.

I might have pushed it..

So,
uhm.. i might have gone a bit crazy in my previous post.
So, yeah.

Here Goes Nothing, lovers. ANC.

"Johannesburg - Western Cape acting premier Patricia de Lille was booed and shown "hand signals" while making a Human Rights Day speech at Athlone Stadium in Cape Town on Monday morning." - news 24

So,
how are you all?

Anyway, ill try and keep this short and sweet.
Im rather annoyed and fucking pissed atm.
The whole Human Rights day thing is a bloody good waste of time.

Half of our retarded nation cant even spell HooOoman-rittes.

So, the booing of Patricia de Lille today was rather unacceptable.
and you want to know what the best part was, you could see they ANC flags waving humorously free.
Great idiot, you can wave a flag, now shut the fuck up and pretend to be able to listen, hows that?
Also, waving your flag wont prove anything to anyone. Other than the fact that you are oblivious in many a sense.

"The commission views this as a disturbing act of intolerance which contradicts the constitutional provisions that guarantee freedom of speech and human dignity."

My favorite part, the peeps couldnt get the rowdy crowd do keep their illiterate mouths shut.. proving the usefulness and level of control our leaders actually have over their people.
FUCK ALL :3

this makes me giddy.
i feel impish.
i want to leave.

I am embarrassed by this.. horribly.
I cant believe this is the fucking image the world gets to see?
For real people, we are supposed to be a world standard country, but we cant even keep our fucking mouths shut and sit the hell down at a speech regarding your HUMAN RIGHTS? Ugh, CUNTry is what we are..

Anyway,
im changing my dreams at this time.
So expect to be annoyed.

Check down for the statue post, id like some more input bitches.

Smile fookers,
life is short.

More here : De Lille Booed - YOUR ANC FLAG SUCKS BALLS.

And the show begins!

So,

How are you all?
I am very well on this #sarcasticsunday - honestly.

Anyway,
I need some help, and this will be fun for all. I hope.
I want to create a story for 2 living statues.
And by a story i mean names and histories and and and... everything one needs to be, well, a thing?

I want anyone and everyone to help me create this story, tis more fun this way, no?
Yes.

Anway, you can help in ANYWAY you want and can.
you can even tweet me small bits of info, and i will put it all together and they shall be born.
btw, its a boy and a girl statue. But this is something we can move around.

Now, help help help :D
Tell your friends and whomever you wish.

Its adventure time,
smile fookers.

ps. yoko ono loves us.

I wanna be a living statue

And i will.

How to start a conspiracy and how Rebecca Black destroyed me.

So,
i woke up this morning feeling fresh,
gotta get my bowl, gotta get my cereal.
This is the beauty that is Rebecca Black. <<< CLICK THERE..

She is an artist unlike any we have met. she makes lady gaga feel shameful.

[ive always been a good liar]

No, the only value a Rebecca Black song might ever have, is to teach alcoholic teenagers how to remember the sequence of the days. Other than that, she might help to turn children as young as 7 in alcoholics.

Now, i have a conspiracy, you know, since the whole Japan thing and everyone is obsessed with the world ending, the the 11th being a bad day.

Here are the facts -
Sylvia Plath died 11th - tragic.
Alexander McQueen died 11th - tragic
Rebecca Black did not die 11th - tragic [many others did]
9/11 - tragic. [zeitgeist begs to differ]

Now, am i completely wrong in saying that last friday, the day of the Japan bang, it is very possible that Rebecca Black was standing in her room, obviously feeling fresh and knowing she'd have to go down, trying make up her mind on which seat to take, seeing as this decision is life changing. So, after this, she obviously went down to the bus stop where her friends were waiting in a sports-car making waves with their arms and the driver nodding his head like yeah. The whole scene just oozed FUN FUN FUN.

So, she got in the car/bus - id like to add at this point, this is all illegal considering she is 13, and then assuming her friends are the same age, also, why would a young driver own a sports car, but they cant afford a real rapper to help them sing?- and she started singing her song. Then Japan happened.
At that moment a meteor was passing by the exact geographical location as her voice was traveling, they hooked up and went to japan, this resulted in tragedy.

[please note the above is not real - well parts of it is, and this makes me sad]


Oh, anyway, also, Rebecca is a very popular name for girls in South Africa, having said this, its safe to assume its very popular amongst black girls. Thus, Rebecca Black's name basically means, Black Girl Black. Which is racist and stuff.
See? Now tell everyone to stay away from this Racist Pop Artist and her evil influence of Caucasian dominance.
Oh, white people stink is a trending topic on twitter.

ANYWAY,
I recently came across a telephone card, you know, the type you use when you need to phone from a public phone?
And i picked it up, and this sparked something inside my obviously functional brain.
I am going to start a tumblr, and on this very special tumblr i will post pictures of ALL the homeless cards i come across while im on my adventures.
Along with who it might have belonged too, if i feel like typing that. And where i found it.
Im basically opening a safe-home for cards that get left out in the rain.
Im basically adopting Orphan cards.

Oh, but i have to run now.
i'm exhausted, not feeling fresh. And thus, no bowl or cereal for me.
smile fookers.
i love you all, yoko.

i feel like im Vietnamese and living in America..

So,
Hi there..
Do pardon the silence, I've been, distracted.. To say the least?
University, well.. Let's say that's like being slowly raped by monkeys.
And not the cool hot monkey kind..
The dirty fat kind. But hey, its free? Not.

Anyway, I'm supposed to move today. But well.. You know. Lifes a cookie.
And I hate cookies. Food = fat.

This won't ever make sense, this entry. But whatever.
I'm really disappoint. And yes, that's a word I use.
Trying to dumb things down. ;)
I'm homeless now.

I own a million[exaggeration] boxes with books and shit.
And I'm homeless now. So I live in a box.
You better fucking love me!

So, I've been listening to amy winehouse, seriously considering the coke diet.
Maybe ill patent diet cocaine and make a killing in Milan.
Beats having to beg for the room you were promised I guess?

Anyway,
Gotta go slit my wrists and get drunk.
Smile fookers.
Love <3

Born This Way and the Beatles :D

So,

Born This Way was released just hours ago,
some hate it, some say the hype surrounding the release was better than the actual song, calling it anti-climax. And im sure to some it was.
But whatever, fucking losers.
The song is epic.
Now some have called it not a song or a pop tune, but a "gay anthem"
and i say, even if it might be.. you're probably just experiencing something
called Hetero-jello.. where a heterosexual person feels left out, or neglected,
by a star.
Its common. google it.

<3

Anyway, go listen to the song HERE

Hope you enjoy it, did you? YOU FUCKING BETTER <3

anyway, i thought id just also say this..
the meat dress is still very high up on google.. how come?

The Beatles wore meat first.. i swear..

Anyway,
Did you like the song?
Was the hype bigger than the hit?

Dont be a drag, just be a queen.
love and such.
smile fookers.

FLAG BTW..

So,

#bornthiswayfriday is trending,
which is amazing.
I cant wait for the level of epicness that will be achieved this friday,
while BORN THIS WAY will be played on repeat.
As it should be.
obviously.

But not only is BTW coming this year,
Emilie Autumn is also promising us a new album,
Fight Like A Girl, its promised to be darker and more metal than Opheliac.
Hard core shit.. AHhhhh, im as excited as a whore on a carrot truck!

Although i dont have much to say today,
well, no more than i usually do,
i have written an article, and im hoping that it will get me a spot on the "perdeby" team.
If not,
i will post it here and you can all tell me how amazing it is.
If not, well, suck me.

Ive also recently discovered Tumbler.. follow me?

Otherwise, follow Emilie Autumn on Twitter,
Follow Lady Gaga On Twitter,
and for fuck sakes, follow me on twitter?

Now, smile fookers.
love and such.